Reducing Your Risk of Spreading Herpes or Getting Genital Herpes
There are a number of things that we can do to reduce the risk of spreading herpes to our partners, or to reduce our risk of getting herpes from someone else. By using these practices, many people have been successful in NOT spreading herpes to their partner(s). Many people who have HSV2 have NEVER spread it to a partner. However, there are no guarantees. Everyone has a different situation. And your PARTNER’S health and immune system is also a factor. But if you use some or all of these practices, your risk of transmitting the virus to your partner(s) might be much much lower.
1) Make sure that both you and your partner(s) have *actually* been tested for herpes. MOST people with genital herpes have few or no noticeable symptoms. And believe it or not, MOST doctors do NOT include a test for herpes when they are testing their patients for other common STDs. So 90% of the people who have genital herpes DON’T EVEN KNOW IT! Reducing the risk of transmission of herpes and other STD’s requires that both partners KNOW their status for herpes and other STD’s PRIOR to becoming intimately involved. Unless your partner has taken one of the newer, very reliable type-specific herpes blood tests at least 12-16 weeks AFTER their last intimate encounter, there is always the chance that they might have acquired the herpes virus prior to sleeping with you. This goes for other STDs as well. So if you have intimate relations prior to your partner being tested, and they later develop symptoms and test positive for herpes, you will NEVER KNOW if your partner got herpes from you or if they had it BEFORE you, but just didn’t know it. Remember, 20-25% of US Adults have genital herpes, but 90% of them DON’T KNOW IT. Asking your partner(s) to get tested prior to your getting involved may seem awkward, but unless you and your partner don’t care about spreading STD’s, it’s a very reasonable thing to ask someone to do. Frankly, now that herpes is so easy to diagnose via type-specific blood tests, everyone should be doing this. The medical profession will eventually catch up…but in the meantime, we need to ask our partners to get tested for herpes and other STD’s as soon as a physical relationship looks likely. Also, if you find out that your partner already has the virus for genital herpes, then you don’t have to worry about giving them an STD that they ALREADY have! Testing is part of the solution. Let’s be pro-active on the herpes testing front.
View or download this list of reliable blood tests for herpes, from the American Society for Social Heath (ASHA) by clicking here.
If you want to be tested anonymously for Herpes or other STDs, check out services like GetSTDtested.com, and others listed on our page for Herpes Diagnosis.
2) Condoms: These will only help prevent transmission if the area that they cover is the same as the area where you or your partner has outbreaks or asymptomatic shedding. In many cases, condoms do not cover the area where the outbreaks or shedding occurs. Condoms still may be effective as contraceptives.
3) Suppressive Therapy: In studies, Acyclovir and Valtrex (a derivative of Acyclovir/Zovirax) taken daily have been shown to greatly reduce the risk of transmission to a non-infected partner. In one study, taking Acyclovir daily as suppressive therapy was so effective, that the percent of days that patients were shedding the virus was reduced to less than 1%! So suppressive therapy along with the regular and proper use of condoms is highly effective in reducing your risk of transmitting herpes to a non-infected partner. Read about the latest research here – http://depts.washington.edu/herpes/art_treatment.htm
5) Self-Monitoring: Some people can *tell* that they might be having an HSV2 outbreak – because they feel a tingling or other sensation – even if it never turns into a sore or any other visible symptom. Many people feel things like this in advance of a real outbreak. Other people may feel things like this – but then the outbreak never happens. In any case, if you abstain from intimate contact – from the moment you start feeling some tingling or any other unusual sensation – whether or not it turns into an actual outbreak – then you are likely to significantly reduce your risk of transmission. There are no published studies about self-monitoring, so you just need to go by common sense.
6) Low-stress Lifestyle: Many believe that stress increases the occurrence of herpes outbreaks. Stress may also decrease your auto-immune defenses. So if you and your partner both avoid stress, you should theoretically lower your risk of having outbreaks and being potentially infectious – as well as lowering your risk of “catching” this or another virus from other people.
There are so many things that you can do to help lower the potential risk of transmitting HSV2 to your partner. Depending on your particular situation, your risk might be higher – or lower.
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Bottom line – is that you CAN significantly reduce your risk of transmitting HSV2 to your partner, even when you are having no outbreaks. If you take all of these precautions, you might, in fact, be a safer partner than someone who has not been tested recently for STD’s and is taking no particular precautions. Just using a condom, for instance, does not guarantee against the spread of many STD’s, including herpes. Since most people have not taken an HSV-2 type specific blood test at least 12-16 weeks after their last sexual partner, they might possibly be carrying and spreading the HSV2 virus without their knowledge, and may display no particular symptoms.
The only difference between US and THEM (the general population) is that we KNOW what we have and we can do something about it. At least 20% of THEM are really part of US, but they just don’t know it. Asking our potential partners to get tested may seem awkward, but just think of the favor you will be doing for yourself and everyone else – if someone who has it, finally learns that they have it and can start doing something about it.
For more information, we recommend that you check out our Herpes Links and Information Page.
Can you transmit herpes even if you are not having a break out ?
Yes, 70% of new cases of genital herpes are the result of having sex with someone who had NO VISIBLE SYMPTOMS of genital herpes, but was shedding the virus “asymptomatically” (without noticeable symptoms).
Can asymptomatic herpes only be spread through contact with the area where the lesions erupt?
No. It’s possible that someone might be able to asymptomatically shed the virus from a place that they don’t know about because they cannot see it. And yes, it’s also possible that they can shed the virus from the same spot where they do occasionally have visible outbreaks. It’s the invisible outbreaks that might be happening in a place you don’t know about – that’s something you cannot help.
Can you spread genital herpes when having oral sex?
Both HSV1 and HSV2 can cause “genital herpes”. Up to 80% of Americans have HSV1, which is usually associated with “cold sores” around the mouth, but can also be transmitted to the genitals via oral sex. Up to 30% of new cases of genital herpes are due to HSV1 – and most of the time, it’s been transmitted via oral sex. Since most people (up to 80% of Americans) have HSV1 – whether or not they ever have noticeable cold sores – and since most people do not use any sort of “protection” during oral sex, it’s actually becoming more and more common for people to get herpes on their genitals from oral sex. For more info, go to:
http://www.datingwithherpes.org/how-did-i-get-herpes/
I been dating a girl who has finally told me she has Herpes… We had sex once but I wore a condom. she said she was not shedding and wasnt breaking out when we did it. should I be safe??
There is no way of anyone knowing for sure when someone is or is not potentially shedding the herpes virus asymptomatically -unless they are participating in some sort of clinical study where their genital area is swabbed daily and tested for traces of the virus. However, most people shed the virus less and less over time, and if someone is taking daily Valtrex or Acyclovir as suppressive therapy, then the occurrence of asymptomatic shedding is dramatically reduced. If your partner is taking Valtrex or Acyclovir daily as suppressive therapy, and if you used a condom properly, then you have a very low risk of getting herpes.
Since @ 20%-25% of adult women in the US have HSV2, but most of them don’t even know it, you are probably more at risk for getting herpes from someone who doesn’t know that they have it, and is taking no precautions to protect you, than from someone who knows they have herpes and is taking the recommended precautions.
Because it is quite likely that 1 in 4 of your previous partners had HSV2, whether or not they knew it, it makes sense for you and everyone else to ask your doctor to give you a type-specific herpes blood test so that you are aware of your herpes status. Most doctors do NOT test their patients for herpes when they are testing you for other STD’s – unless you SPECIFICALLY REQUEST a herpes blood test. Get tested now! If you test positive right now, then you got herpes from a previous partner because not enough time has passed after your most recent sexual encounter for the virus to show up in your blood stream – unless you were previously infected. If you test negative now, then get tested again in about 4 months if you want to be sure that you didn’t happen to get herpes from this new partner. It takes 12-16 weeks after you get the virus for enough antibody markers to show up in your bloodstream for the blood test to work.
Good luck!
How should you go about using protection/trying to reduce transmission when you and your partner both carry the virus?
Are you saying that you both carry HSV2? Or does one of you have HSV2 and the other has HSV1? Or what? If you both have HSV1 orally, it can still possibly be transmitted to the genitals via oral sex. Using condoms and dental dams properly and taking suppressive therapy (usually daily Acyclovir or Valcyclovir) is the best way to prevent transmission. Make sure that you both get one of the “good” type-specific Herpes IgG blood tests and find out exactly what you have or do not have. Then you can decide what preventative strategies is best for you as a couple. Read our webpage on Reducing Your Risk of getting or spreading herpes:
http://www.datingwithherpes.org/reducingyourrisk/
I’ve had unprotected sex with a new partner. I had been abstinent for a year prior to this. 3 days later had the flu symptoms and felt very sore. Went to the GYN since the soreness didn’t stop. From visual observation, she was confident that I had contracted HSV2. I had blood work done and the results came back positive for HSV2. This all happened within a week and a half from the time of intercourse. (I’ve been in 2 long-term relationships prior to this. Neither of the partners ever experienced any symptoms of HSV2 nor did they ever speak of it. So, i’m assuming that they are both HSV2 negative).
I guess I’m trying to figure out if I could have had it for 12 years and never knew or if I definitely contracted it from the new partner.
Depending on which kind of herpes blood test you took, if it was a type-specific Herpes IgG blood test and it came out positive just 3 days after you first had unprotected sex with your new partner – then it sounds like this might not be a newly acquired infection. You might have had the HSV2 virus foa a long time without having any symptoms. That’s why most people who have herpes – don’t even know it! Any of your past boyfriends may have had HSV2 and had no symptoms and didn’t know that they had any sort of STD. You cannot “assume” that that just because someone has no symptoms doesn’t mean that they don’t have an STD.
I can’t seem to find an answer to this question so I hope you can help,
I’m going on daily suppressive therapy because I want to reduce the risk of transmission to an uninfected partner, My dr. prescribed me Zovirax 800 mg? I’ve heard that Valtrex & Acyclovir reduce asymptomatic shedding etc but Zovirax doesn’t, isn’t zovirax just acyclovir? This was an odd new dr. so if Zovirax does not work like valtrex I’ll make an appt. to see my regular dr. & get another prescription.
I wonder what is the advantage of prescribing zovirax over the other two?
Thank you! I’m very confused…
Zovirax is a brand name for Acyclovir before Acyclovir became a generic drug. So Zovirax and Acyclovir are exactly the same thing – just a different name on the bottle. The recommended suppressive therapy dosage is 400 mg x 2 per day, so 800 mg total per day. Valacyclovir (same thing as Valtrex) has the same benefit as Acyclovir, but generally 1 tablet per day instead of 2 (not sure of the amount of mg per tablet), and it costs a lot more. Some health insurance plans will cover Acyclovir, but not Valacyclovir. Google Valtrex dosage suppressive therapy for more info.
I am 22, I recently met the man of my dreams. He is 25. And of course, something is wrong.. he recently told me he has genital herpes. he told me one night and we stayed up all night talking. he asked if i wanted him to leave and i said no. we have not had sex and i dont really plan to despite wanting to.. Do I break things off? We have already told eachother we love one another.. i love him so much. i am so scared and sad. how do I stop these feelings when its not even his fault? It could have happened to me, to a lot of people.. its just bad luck. and it is the only thing holding me back.. If I could 100 percent protect myself I would, but the risk is a lot to think about and emotions are running high. i love him so much. this is breaking my heart and spirit. i just want to be with him
Recently I have contracted hsv-2. Presently, I am not sexually active, but I am bound to have intercourse eventually.Would daily suppressive therapy,condom use,AND my sex partner keeping on his boxers during intercourse all combined,reduce the risk of hsv transmission, than just suppressive therapy and condom use alone?
I am a female and have genital HSV 2. I am wondering if it is possible for me to transmit it via oral sex to my boyfriend? I know that it is definitely a risk if I had cold sores on my mouth, but that is not the case. I cannot seem to find any answers on this subject. Is it safe for someone with genital herpes to give oral sex to someone without transmitting it?
1) First of all, you should get a Herpes Blood Test so that you know for sure whether or not you might also have genital herpes. 90% of people who have genital herpes don’t even know it because they have few or no symptoms and most doctors don’t bother to test patients for herpes when they are testing them for other STD’s. So it’s unlikely that you have ever been tested for genital herpes and you should get tested to know for sure whether or not you might already have it.
2) Sleeping with someone who has genital herpes does not mean that you will automatically get it too. There are many things that couples can do to minimize the risk of transmission. 1) Avoid sex during outbreaks, 2) Use condoms, and 3) Take daily antivirals such as Acyclovir or Valacyclovir which can dramatically reduce the incidence of aysymptomatic shedding of the virus. Ask your friend if he is taking Acyclovir or Valacyclovir for suppressive therapy. And if not, he should go to his doctor and get a prescription for it. Taking all of these 3 precautions dramatically reduces the risk of spreading herpes to a partner, although nothing is 100% foolproof.
Remember about 20% of adults in the US have genital herpes, and 90% of them don’t even know it. You may have already dated and/or slept with someone who had genital herpes, but didn’t know it and didn’t have any symptoms. It’s super common, and you don’t even know for sure if you might already have it too. If your friend is truly an honest and wonderful guy, then it might be worth your time to get the facts about how to minimize the risk and make a better informed decision. Good luck.
Most people (like 70%) already have HSV1 orally – which can cause cold sores occasionally. But even if you are not experiencing any cold sores, it’s possible to pass HSV1 from your mouth to someone’s genitals during oral sex. A lot of people don’t know this.
If you have HSV2 genitally – but not orally – then you cannot pass HSV2 to someone else via oral sex. But since it’s highly likely that both you and your partner already have HSV1 orally, both of you should be aware that it’s possible to spread HSV1 from your mouth to the other person’s genitals via oral sex. Using condoms and dental dams during oral sex is one of the best ways to minimize the risk of spreading HSV1 via oral sex – but again – most people don’t seem to take any precautions with oral sex. That’s why HSV1 (spread from the mouth to the genitals) is the cause of up to 30% of new cases of genital herpes.
Using condoms and suppressive therapy, and not having sex during active outbreaks, are a great way to reduce the risk of transmission of herpes from one person to another. Condoms only help if they completely cover the area where someone usually has outbreaks. If someone has outbreaks on their buttocks or thighs or someplace else that condoms do not cover, then it might be good to cover those areas if possible. Not sure where you have outbreaks or if boxers would make sense for you.
Trying to conceive and want to know how when i have HSV2. In order to conceive i would have to have unprotected sex… please help me with this question i have been looking everywhere for an answer.
Are you asking how do you know “if” you have HSV2? Because “if” you already have HSV2, then “when” is only an issue if you are having an active outbreak at the time of delivery. If you have not already taken a blood test to confirm whether or not you have HSV2, get one asap. If you already have HSV2 and want to get pregnant (not use condoms), then use daily suppressive antiviral therapy such as Acyclovir or Valacyclovir to reduce the risk of spreading herpes to your partner. After you get pregnant, eat healthy, reduce stress, and when it is time to deliver the baby – make sure you tell your doctor if you think you are having an active outbreak. Unless they are having an active outbreak at the time of delivery, most women with herpes deliver their babies vaginally with no complications. But if you think you might be having an outbreak, then tell your doctor and they’ll probably deliver via Caesarian Section instead.
Check out Teri Warren’s Free “Updated Herpes Handbook” – a free downloadable E-Book, and see page 24 for information about Pregnancy and Herpes.
http://westoverheights.com/herpes_handbook/final_HH_for_2010_revision_1.pdf
I recently found out I have herpes. My sexual partner says that if I got it from him that I should have on/in my mouth but I don’t. He has no visible evidence of herpes, but I know I got it from him since I’m not having sex with anyone else. How can I make him understand that just because there not visible signs that don’t mean he doesnt have herpes.
You didn’t say if you have HSV1 or HSV2 or both. If you don’t know, then go back to your doctor and ask. Did you take a type-specific herpes blood test? If so, the results should tell you what you have. Also, even if you are currently in a monogamous relationship, it’s possible that you have had herpes even before you met your current boyfriend. Your boyfriend really needs to get a type-specific herpes blood test in order to know his herpes status. Both of you need to become better educated about STDs.
I have hsv2. 8 months before I became sexually active with him I was tested for everything under the sun all my results were negative. Which is how I know I got the virus from him. He is going to get tested.
I have been dating a guy for almost a year. Last week I found a bottle of Valtrax hidden in his bathroom. He told me that he had been exposed to the virus in a past relationship but didn’t have any symptoms so he got tested. He said that the test was negative but the doctor put him on Valtrax (daily) as a “precaution.” Would a doctor prescribe this without an actual positive test or is he lying to me?
There is a lot of confusion and misinformation being spread about genital herpes. Sometimes your own doctors are the ones spreading the bad information. I would not be surprised if your friend’s doctor is the source of the confusion. It’s also possible that your friend misunderstood something that the doctor told him. Valtrex is usually not prescribed unless someone has been diagnosed with HSV1 or HSV2. It is often prescribed for cold sores (around the mouth) as well as genital herpes. Some doctors are very out-of-date about herpes. These out-of-date doctors sometimes think that a positive blood test for HSV1 or HSV2 only means that you have been “exposed” to the virus, and think that it may not mean that you actually “have” the virus unless you have noticeable outbreaks. These doctors are wrong. However, if your friend does have HSV1 or HSV2, then taking daily Valtrex is a very good way to reduce the risk of spreading it to another person. If your friend does NOT have HSV1 or HSV2, then taking daily Valtrex may not be necessary.
Here’s what we recommend:
- Don’t panic. Herpes is very very common and @ 20% of everyone you know, including people you have dated, have genital herpes. 90% of them don’t even know it. You might even have it already and not know it. At least your friend is taking some precautions not to spread it.
- Ask your friend how he “knows” that he was “exposed” to herpes. What does “exposed” mean to him and/or his doctor? Was he exposed to HSV1? HSV2? Both?
- Find out the name of the “test” that was given. See if it’s one of the “good” herpes blood tests on the list that can be found at: http://www.datingwithherpes.org/herpesdiagnosis/ . Remember, a lot of inaccurate herpes blood tests are still on the market. Get a copy of the test results and ask a medical professional to explain the results. Maybe use a different doctor than your friend.
- Get yourself a type-specific herpes blood test so that you know your current herpes status. Everyone should be doing this!
- Only YOU can determine if your friend is confused, misinformed by their doctor, or lying.
My husband has HSV2 and we want to have children. I do not have the virus, as I have made sure we always use a condom and he’s on his medication. HOw do we go about having a child of our own without me contracting the virus?
As long as your husband is taking daily suppressive therapy (i.e. Valacyclovir, Acyclovir) and staying healthy, there is a much lower risk of your getting herpes from him while you are trying to get pregnant. If you don’t want to have unprotected sex, you could try to get pregnant using his sperm in a turkey baster – it has worked for lots of people. But otherwise, unprotected sex is a great way to get pregnant and you won’t automatically get herpes just from sleeping with him, since he’s taking suppressive therapy. Nothing is risk-free. And if you get pregnant, there are other health risks you are taking. So just accept that there are various risks you take in life, and it’s up to you to decide how much risk you feel comfortable with. Good luck. DWH
I recently met up with an ex, and one thing led to another and we slept together. Afterwards, he told me his other ex had herpes, and he was afraid he had it, despite having no symptoms. After being beyond furious with him, I told him to go get tested. This was over a month ago — he contacted me last night and said he had been to the doctors and tested positive (but didn’t say which type).
We met up on March 1, and it’s now April 10. I know I have to wait two more months to get a blood test, but I was just wondering how high my risk for having the virus is. I haven’t had any symptoms in the past month, but I’m nervous it’s lying dormant and will show up out of nowhere one day
I just found out that I have herpes type 2; but it’s dormant and I have no outbreak. I had sex with someone two days before I found out, we had sex with a comdom and he did oral sex on me, I’m a female. Is it possible to transmit it to him?
Condoms can significantly reduce the risk of transmitting herpes to your partner, but do not give 100% protection. So there is a small chance that you could transmit herpes to a partner, even when you are not having a noticeable outbreak and he is using a condom. Most people with herpes shed the virus asymptomatically (with no noticeable symptoms) a small percent of the time, so just because you don’t notice any symptoms – does not necessarily mean that you are not shedding the virus. It would be wise to tell him about your diagnosis and suggest that he get a herpes blood test now, to see if he might already have herpes. In which case, he didn’t get it from you. But if he tests negative now, he might want to get tested again in about 4 months if he wants to be certain that he didn’t get it from you.
It’s highly unlikely, although not impossible, for you to have acquired herpes from just one sexual encounter with your ex. However, since 1 in 4 women have genital herpes and 90% of them don’t even know it, it’s possible that you already have herpes, even if you have no symptoms. If you get a herpes blood test NOW, and it’s negative, then you will know that you did not have herpes before sleeping with him. Then you can get tested again in 3-4 months to see if you still test negative, just for your own piece of mind.