Comments for Dating With Herpes.org http://www.datingwithherpes.org Living and Loving with HSV Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:45:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Telling Someone by mewithhsv2 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/tellingsomeone/#comment-25146 mewithhsv2 Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:45:14 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=21#comment-25146 I understand that the DECEPTION is the first issue. They lose their credibility. What else are they lying or covering up right? The same thing happened to me. 6 months, never told - no condom. Yes, I have it now. A series of emotions are still with me for 2 years now. I felt violated. He has lied to numerous women and I am sure has spread it. Let's face it. Men lie. I have in turn told men before sex and they run!!! They don't want to be with someone for the rest of their lives - committed wearing a condom or also taking a risk with someone and ultimately contracting it and then it breaks off. . . I actually prefer condoms and the one time I trusted a guy and look what happens. The stigma to hsv2 is bad. Valtrex makes my hair fall out. Acyclovir is better. The guy who lied to me is happy go lucky and unscathed. He seems to feel that 90 percent of the population has it and its no big deal and all he could do is say "sorry" and then break up with me. Good Luck, I HOPE you don't have it. I understand that the DECEPTION is the first issue. They lose their credibility. What else are they lying or covering up right? The same thing happened to me. 6 months, never told – no condom. Yes, I have it now. A series of emotions are still with me for 2 years now. I felt violated. He has lied to numerous women and I am sure has spread it. Let’s face it. Men lie. I have in turn told men before sex and they run!!! They don’t want to be with someone for the rest of their lives – committed wearing a condom or also taking a risk with someone and ultimately contracting it and then it breaks off. . . I actually prefer condoms and the one time I trusted a guy and look what happens. The stigma to hsv2 is bad. Valtrex makes my hair fall out. Acyclovir is better. The guy who lied to me is happy go lucky and unscathed. He seems to feel that 90 percent of the population has it and its no big deal and all he could do is say “sorry” and then break up with me. Good Luck, I HOPE you don’t have it.

]]> Comment on Telling Someone by Michele http://www.datingwithherpes.org/tellingsomeone/#comment-25118 Michele Wed, 22 Feb 2012 03:42:46 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=21#comment-25118 Michelle. I dated a guy for 7 months...it was serious..but the relationship came to an end. I came to find out after that he had H. He never told me. I decided to be tested and I contacted him and basically asked him if he had the herpes virus. He denied it. I told him that I had some concerns and that I felt I should be tested. He turned it around on me and asked me if he should get checked out. I feel he did that because he did not want to admit that he had the virus. I basically told him that I was going to be honest with him. I appreciated the fact that we always used condoms. Always. At least he did the right thing in that respect. But I knew that he had a perscription for Valtrex...and he does not get cold sores. All he could say was that he didn't appreciate me going through his things. No admitting that he had H..no apology for dating me for 7 months and never telling me. In retrospect I feel bad about how I handled the situation in asking him. But I have a hard time accepting the fact that this person who said he loved me...could be with me and never tell me he had the virus. I would have accepted him as he was because I cared about him and still do. But he felt it was ok to start a relationship and never tell me. Just curious as to your opinion..or anyone's opinion. He isn't speaking to me now..period...yet here I am ...not holding a grudge because I truly cared about him....trying to make ammends as friends...and he is angry with me. I feel I have the right to be angry with him. And...I was tested today...so...I guess I will find out soon. Michelle. I dated a guy for 7 months…it was serious..but the relationship came to an end. I came to find out after that he had H. He never told me. I decided to be tested and I contacted him and basically asked him if he had the herpes virus. He denied it. I told him that I had some concerns and that I felt I should be tested. He turned it around on me and asked me if he should get checked out. I feel he did that because he did not want to admit that he had the virus. I basically told him that I was going to be honest with him. I appreciated the fact that we always used condoms. Always. At least he did the right thing in that respect. But I knew that he had a perscription for Valtrex…and he does not get cold sores. All he could say was that he didn’t appreciate me going through his things. No admitting that he had H..no apology for dating me for 7 months and never telling me. In retrospect I feel bad about how I handled the situation in asking him. But I have a hard time accepting the fact that this person who said he loved me…could be with me and never tell me he had the virus. I would have accepted him as he was because I cared about him and still do. But he felt it was ok to start a relationship and never tell me. Just curious as to your opinion..or anyone’s opinion. He isn’t speaking to me now..period…yet here I am …not holding a grudge because I truly cared about him….trying to make ammends as friends…and he is angry with me. I feel I have the right to be angry with him. And…I was tested today…so…I guess I will find out soon.

]]> Comment on Telling Someone by Michelle http://www.datingwithherpes.org/tellingsomeone/#comment-25081 Michelle Tue, 21 Feb 2012 07:34:07 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=21#comment-25081 I decided to share my story on here to hopefully help those who still need that last push to tell their partner they have H. Like many others, I’m sure... I researched and read other stories of people who had told their partners they had H. I drove myself crazy but reading the success stories helped a lot. I also have 2 females friends who have H and they have had so many success stories as well. One of my friends told 3 men and both were willing to work through it and make it work. My other friend, who has had it for over 10 years, has told numerous men (probably around 50) she had it and 99% of them were OK with it and continued to date/sleep with her. Amazing! Even with my friends’ own personal and great experiences, I was scared. But I finally told a guy I was super into that I had H. So... here’s my story, I hope it helps someone out there :) I received H from my ex who cheated on me. He told me he didn’t know he had it but deep down, I don’t believe him. They night he gave it to me... he decided to use a condom. We hadn’t used a condom since our first few times of having sex so using one over a year later was bizarre and I knew then and there he gave it to me then. I had my first breakout 2 days later. He admitted to the cheating and continued to cheat (and I’m sure he did not disclose to other females he had H.) I finally got the courage to end it with him because of his excessive cheating. He was the 2nd man I ever slept with at the age of 24. So to say the least, I was absolutely devastated. I was depressed for a few months. I didn’t have the desire to go out and I didn’t tell anyone I had it. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Even though I should not have been, but the media has such a negative stigma on H. I finally started researching about H and realized how common it truly is. I finally learned I was NOT alone and there were websites for dating others with H and support groups. I even worked up the courage to tell a few friends I had it and they were so understanding. They even told me they wished I told them sooner so I wouldn’t have had to go through this alone. My friends are awesome, I know :) And I tried out the websites for dating other people with H and that was OK. I met a few people but no spark with any and never dated any of them seriously. Three years after being diagnosed, I started dating a guy I met through mutual friends. He was great and I wanted to tell him. However, I never got the courage to and things ended before we got intimate. I think things ended because he could sense I was holding back and he didn’t want to wait around for me. I just couldn’t get the words out to tell him and I guess I was not 100% comfortable with him. Fast forward another year. Now 4 years celibate with H. I meet a new guy and right away we have this amazing chemistry. Felt like I’ve known him my whole life. He is super into me and so sweet and kind.... he’s perfect. And I am just so comfortable with him, I cannot believe it. I can’t really explain it but it felt... right. I was so in-like with him. I realize right away I will have to tell this one. There is no way around it. So, after a month of dating... I decided it’s time. I practiced my “speech” so many times with friends and by myself, I was confident it would go so smoothly. At first I’d practice and I’d cry. But eventually I got so good at it, I never cried during my practicing. I was ready to tell him. Like the last guy, he could tell I was holding back and he didn’t understand why. I told him on the phone, the next time we hung out I would explain why I had walls up and such. A few days later I went over to his house. He cooked an amazing dinner and we laughed and had a great time as usual. He then asked if I was ready to have “that talk” with him. I didn’t think he’d bring it up but he did. I was nervous. I downed my wine and said to myself “it’s time.” So we laid on his bed, he got 2 inches in front of my face and waited for me to speak. I started off well but then just staring into his eyes, I started crying. (Yes, I know... all the help sites say do NOT cry when telling your partner. I am sorry I am human but I cannot help it. I cry when I'm really happy and I cry at the smallest things. I cry when others cry. I'm emotional...sue me! =P) I didn’t even get to the part about having H yet! But I was scared. When he saw the tears fall, he immediately hugged me and didn’t say a word. He just comforted me and waited until I was ready to speak again. And I literally had to FORCE myself to get the words out. “I have H.” Before I could say another word (I wanted to say it was his decision on how he wanted to move forward), he grabbed my face, looked into my eyes and said, “I accept you for who you are.” As you can imagine, I started crying again and he just held me. I cried for a few minutes and he told me again that he accepts me and he still thinks I am amazing. And that this does not change how he feels about me. He even asked if he could go kick my ex’s butt. (hehe). He was so sweet and comforting. It truly could not have gone better. I just wish I didn’t cry so damn much but being that this was the first guy I ever told and I that I was so into him... I couldn’t help it. I am only human and this took so much courage for me. The next day he asked some questions about it and said he was familiar with H. This really did not surprise me since he is quite educated. I answered his questions and things stayed how they were with him...amazing. A week later he told me he had H, type I and that he only gets it on/in his nose. Very rare but he does have it. Of course this did not change how I felt about him either. That same night we were intimate (I felt like I lost my virginity again, hehe) and things are still now going very well with him now. We are getting very serious and I am so glad I told him about H. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I haven’t been this happy in years. I definitely recommend telling your partner because you never know that he or she could be “the one.” It was definitely the hardest thing I ever had to do but it also had the greatest reward... I have an amazing man who accepts me for who I am. Please please... if you are reading this and debating on telling the new person you are dating... tell them! Either way you won’t regret it. It will either turn into something even more wonderful or you know NOW that this person isn’t meant for you. Honesty is the best policy. YOU CAN DO IT. I PROMISE. I decided to share my story on here to hopefully help those who still need that last push to tell their partner they have H. Like many others, I’m sure… I researched and read other stories of people who had told their partners they had H. I drove myself crazy but reading the success stories helped a lot. I also have 2 females friends who have H and they have had so many success stories as well. One of my friends told 3 men and both were willing to work through it and make it work. My other friend, who has had it for over 10 years, has told numerous men (probably around 50) she had it and 99% of them were OK with it and continued to date/sleep with her. Amazing! Even with my friends’ own personal and great experiences, I was scared. But I finally told a guy I was super into that I had H. So… here’s my story, I hope it helps someone out there :)

I received H from my ex who cheated on me. He told me he didn’t know he had it but deep down, I don’t believe him. They night he gave it to me… he decided to use a condom. We hadn’t used a condom since our first few times of having sex so using one over a year later was bizarre and I knew then and there he gave it to me then. I had my first breakout 2 days later. He admitted to the cheating and continued to cheat (and I’m sure he did not disclose to other females he had H.) I finally got the courage to end it with him because of his excessive cheating. He was the 2nd man I ever slept with at the age of 24. So to say the least, I was absolutely devastated.

I was depressed for a few months. I didn’t have the desire to go out and I didn’t tell anyone I had it. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Even though I should not have been, but the media has such a negative stigma on H. I finally started researching about H and realized how common it truly is. I finally learned I was NOT alone and there were websites for dating others with H and support groups. I even worked up the courage to tell a few friends I had it and they were so understanding. They even told me they wished I told them sooner so I wouldn’t have had to go through this alone. My friends are awesome, I know :) And I tried out the websites for dating other people with H and that was OK. I met a few people but no spark with any and never dated any of them seriously.

Three years after being diagnosed, I started dating a guy I met through mutual friends. He was great and I wanted to tell him. However, I never got the courage to and things ended before we got intimate. I think things ended because he could sense I was holding back and he didn’t want to wait around for me. I just couldn’t get the words out to tell him and I guess I was not 100% comfortable with him.

Fast forward another year. Now 4 years celibate with H. I meet a new guy and right away we have this amazing chemistry. Felt like I’ve known him my whole life. He is super into me and so sweet and kind…. he’s perfect. And I am just so comfortable with him, I cannot believe it. I can’t really explain it but it felt… right. I was so in-like with him. I realize right away I will have to tell this one. There is no way around it. So, after a month of dating… I decided it’s time. I practiced my “speech” so many times with friends and by myself, I was confident it would go so smoothly. At first I’d practice and I’d cry. But eventually I got so good at it, I never cried during my practicing. I was ready to tell him.

Like the last guy, he could tell I was holding back and he didn’t understand why. I told him on the phone, the next time we hung out I would explain why I had walls up and such. A few days later I went over to his house. He cooked an amazing dinner and we laughed and had a great time as usual. He then asked if I was ready to have “that talk” with him. I didn’t think he’d bring it up but he did. I was nervous. I downed my wine and said to myself “it’s time.” So we laid on his bed, he got 2 inches in front of my face and waited for me to speak. I started off well but then just staring into his eyes, I started crying. (Yes, I know… all the help sites say do NOT cry when telling your partner. I am sorry I am human but I cannot help it. I cry when I’m really happy and I cry at the smallest things. I cry when others cry. I’m emotional…sue me! =P) I didn’t even get to the part about having H yet! But I was scared. When he saw the tears fall, he immediately hugged me and didn’t say a word. He just comforted me and waited until I was ready to speak again. And I literally had to FORCE myself to get the words out. “I have H.” Before I could say another word (I wanted to say it was his decision on how he wanted to move forward), he grabbed my face, looked into my eyes and said, “I accept you for who you are.” As you can imagine, I started crying again and he just held me. I cried for a few minutes and he told me again that he accepts me and he still thinks I am amazing. And that this does not change how he feels about me. He even asked if he could go kick my ex’s butt. (hehe). He was so sweet and comforting. It truly could not have gone better. I just wish I didn’t cry so damn much but being that this was the first guy I ever told and I that I was so into him… I couldn’t help it. I am only human and this took so much courage for me.

The next day he asked some questions about it and said he was familiar with H. This really did not surprise me since he is quite educated. I answered his questions and things stayed how they were with him…amazing. A week later he told me he had H, type I and that he only gets it on/in his nose. Very rare but he does have it. Of course this did not change how I felt about him either.

That same night we were intimate (I felt like I lost my virginity again, hehe) and things are still now going very well with him now. We are getting very serious and I am so glad I told him about H. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I haven’t been this happy in years. I definitely recommend telling your partner because you never know that he or she could be “the one.” It was definitely the hardest thing I ever had to do but it also had the greatest reward… I have an amazing man who accepts me for who I am. Please please… if you are reading this and debating on telling the new person you are dating… tell them! Either way you won’t regret it. It will either turn into something even more wonderful or you know NOW that this person isn’t meant for you. Honesty is the best policy. YOU CAN DO IT. I PROMISE.

]]> Comment on Reducing Herpes Risk by admin http://www.datingwithherpes.org/reducingyourrisk/#comment-25027 admin Sun, 19 Feb 2012 23:36:17 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=31#comment-25027 Zovirax is a brand name for Acyclovir before Acyclovir became a generic drug. So Zovirax and Acyclovir are exactly the same thing - just a different name on the bottle. The recommended suppressive therapy dosage is 400 mg x 2 per day, so 800 mg total per day. Valacyclovir (same thing as Valtrex) has the same benefit as Acyclovir, but generally 1 tablet per day instead of 2 (not sure of the amount of mg per tablet), and it costs a lot more. Some health insurance plans will cover Acyclovir, but not Valacyclovir. Google Valtrex dosage suppressive therapy for more info. Zovirax is a brand name for Acyclovir before Acyclovir became a generic drug. So Zovirax and Acyclovir are exactly the same thing – just a different name on the bottle. The recommended suppressive therapy dosage is 400 mg x 2 per day, so 800 mg total per day. Valacyclovir (same thing as Valtrex) has the same benefit as Acyclovir, but generally 1 tablet per day instead of 2 (not sure of the amount of mg per tablet), and it costs a lot more. Some health insurance plans will cover Acyclovir, but not Valacyclovir. Google Valtrex dosage suppressive therapy for more info.

]]> Comment on Reducing Herpes Risk by autumn http://www.datingwithherpes.org/reducingyourrisk/#comment-25026 autumn Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:33:22 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=31#comment-25026 I can't seem to find an answer to this question so I hope you can help, I'm going on daily suppressive therapy because I want to reduce the risk of transmission to an uninfected partner, My dr. prescribed me Zovirax 800 mg? I've heard that Valtrex & Acyclovir reduce asymptomatic shedding etc but Zovirax doesn't, isn't zovirax just acyclovir? This was an odd new dr. so if Zovirax does not work like valtrex I'll make an appt. to see my regular dr. & get another prescription. I wonder what is the advantage of prescribing zovirax over the other two? Thank you! I'm very confused... I can’t seem to find an answer to this question so I hope you can help,

I’m going on daily suppressive therapy because I want to reduce the risk of transmission to an uninfected partner, My dr. prescribed me Zovirax 800 mg? I’ve heard that Valtrex & Acyclovir reduce asymptomatic shedding etc but Zovirax doesn’t, isn’t zovirax just acyclovir? This was an odd new dr. so if Zovirax does not work like valtrex I’ll make an appt. to see my regular dr. & get another prescription.

I wonder what is the advantage of prescribing zovirax over the other two?

Thank you! I’m very confused…

]]> Comment on Telling Someone by Hdawg http://www.datingwithherpes.org/tellingsomeone/#comment-24603 Hdawg Sun, 12 Feb 2012 04:20:02 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=21#comment-24603 I visited this website, and loved the advice given on the words to use when telling someone you have herpes. I contracted the virus at the young age of 19 (I had a very painful initial outbreak). He did not tell me he had it, and it was extremely difficult for me to deal with the diagnosis. I am now 25, so I have had to deal with this issue for pretty much all of my sexually active life. I am now an attractive, funny, college-educated female and it still terrifies me when I have to disclose to a potential partner. Yes, I have had 1-night stands who I did not disclose to (condoms were always used). Other than that, I have disclosed my diagnosis to about 9 men thus far. It is always scary. I have never had someone reject me because of it though! I am currently dating a great guy (we haven't yet had the talk or intercourse). The scariest part for me is trying to create the conversation. But this website helped me a lot. I visited this website, and loved the advice given on the words to use when telling someone you have herpes. I contracted the virus at the young age of 19 (I had a very painful initial outbreak). He did not tell me he had it, and it was extremely difficult for me to deal with the diagnosis. I am now 25, so I have had to deal with this issue for pretty much all of my sexually active life. I am now an attractive, funny, college-educated female and it still terrifies me when I have to disclose to a potential partner. Yes, I have had 1-night stands who I did not disclose to (condoms were always used). Other than that, I have disclosed my diagnosis to about 9 men thus far. It is always scary. I have never had someone reject me because of it though! I am currently dating a great guy (we haven’t yet had the talk or intercourse). The scariest part for me is trying to create the conversation. But this website helped me a lot.

]]> Comment on Reducing Herpes Risk by admin http://www.datingwithherpes.org/reducingyourrisk/#comment-24453 admin Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:54:30 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=31#comment-24453 Depending on which kind of herpes blood test you took, if it was a type-specific Herpes IgG blood test and it came out positive just 3 days after you first had unprotected sex with your new partner - then it sounds like this might not be a newly acquired infection. You might have had the HSV2 virus foa a long time without having any symptoms. That's why most people who have herpes - don't even know it! Any of your past boyfriends may have had HSV2 and had no symptoms and didn't know that they had any sort of STD. You cannot "assume" that that just because someone has no symptoms doesn't mean that they don't have an STD. Depending on which kind of herpes blood test you took, if it was a type-specific Herpes IgG blood test and it came out positive just 3 days after you first had unprotected sex with your new partner – then it sounds like this might not be a newly acquired infection. You might have had the HSV2 virus foa a long time without having any symptoms. That’s why most people who have herpes – don’t even know it! Any of your past boyfriends may have had HSV2 and had no symptoms and didn’t know that they had any sort of STD. You cannot “assume” that that just because someone has no symptoms doesn’t mean that they don’t have an STD.

]]> Comment on Reducing Herpes Risk by Sadie http://www.datingwithherpes.org/reducingyourrisk/#comment-24416 Sadie Thu, 09 Feb 2012 04:49:15 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=31#comment-24416 I've had unprotected sex with a new partner. I had been abstinent for a year prior to this. 3 days later had the flu symptoms and felt very sore. Went to the GYN since the soreness didn't stop. From visual observation, she was confident that I had contracted HSV2. I had blood work done and the results came back positive for HSV2. This all happened within a week and a half from the time of intercourse. (I've been in 2 long-term relationships prior to this. Neither of the partners ever experienced any symptoms of HSV2 nor did they ever speak of it. So, i'm assuming that they are both HSV2 negative). I guess I'm trying to figure out if I could have had it for 12 years and never knew or if I definitely contracted it from the new partner. I’ve had unprotected sex with a new partner. I had been abstinent for a year prior to this. 3 days later had the flu symptoms and felt very sore. Went to the GYN since the soreness didn’t stop. From visual observation, she was confident that I had contracted HSV2. I had blood work done and the results came back positive for HSV2. This all happened within a week and a half from the time of intercourse. (I’ve been in 2 long-term relationships prior to this. Neither of the partners ever experienced any symptoms of HSV2 nor did they ever speak of it. So, i’m assuming that they are both HSV2 negative).

I guess I’m trying to figure out if I could have had it for 12 years and never knew or if I definitely contracted it from the new partner.

]]> Comment on Telling Someone by admin http://www.datingwithherpes.org/tellingsomeone/#comment-24371 admin Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:48:45 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=21#comment-24371 A lot of people are having unprotected sex these days - without discussing STD's or getting tested for STD's on a regular basis. That's why STDs like genital herpes are so common. You certainly should have told her if you suspected that you had herpes. But it doesn't sound like you have ever been properly diagnosed by a medical professional. It's possible that your partner is also overdue for getting tested for STD's and may even have an STD without knowing it. So read up on herpes and other STD's, and then have a talk with her. You must tell her that you suspect that you have herpes and suggest that both of you go get tested for herpes and other STD's asap. Tell your ex-wife to get tested too. Make sure that all of you get one of the "good" type-specific herpes IgG blood tests listed on this Herpes Blood Test Guide from ASHA (American Social Health Association). http://www.datingwithherpes.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/HerpesBloodTestGuide.pdf A lot of people are having unprotected sex these days – without discussing STD’s or getting tested for STD’s on a regular basis. That’s why STDs like genital herpes are so common. You certainly should have told her if you suspected that you had herpes. But it doesn’t sound like you have ever been properly diagnosed by a medical professional. It’s possible that your partner is also overdue for getting tested for STD’s and may even have an STD without knowing it. So read up on herpes and other STD’s, and then have a talk with her. You must tell her that you suspect that you have herpes and suggest that both of you go get tested for herpes and other STD’s asap. Tell your ex-wife to get tested too. Make sure that all of you get one of the “good” type-specific herpes IgG blood tests listed on this Herpes Blood Test Guide from ASHA (American Social Health Association).
http://www.datingwithherpes.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/HerpesBloodTestGuide.pdf

]]> Comment on Telling Someone by Mark http://www.datingwithherpes.org/tellingsomeone/#comment-24324 Mark Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:55:06 +0000 http://www.datingwithherpes.org/?page_id=21#comment-24324 I'm pretty sure I contracted herpes from my wife about two years ago. Obviously I cant be sure but we split up for about a half a year and she admitted to being a little "promiscious" during our split. Within 3 months of coming back I got an outbreak and they became pretty regular for the first year. ITs become more manageable now and I think I probably only have about 2-3 outbreaks a year now and they barely last a day or two. Obvioulsy I havent forgetten about the virus but I really dont think of it much. Well here's my dilemma my wife and I split permanently about 6 months ago and I started dating very recently. The problem is I had unprotected sex after a few drinks with someone and then after I had already done that couldnt get myself to tell her. I foolishly just kept going with it and unfortunately have begun to really like her and really need to tell her. I did start using protection but we'd already slept together unprotected maybe 5 or 6 times. I'm about 99% sure I've already blown it but I just couldnt get myself to say anything. I know that sounds horrible andI'm feeling a crazy amount of stress over it now. SO any advise on how I could possibly save this one would be appreciated, but I'm thinking I'm probably looking at a minimum of a slap in the face and being dumped here. I just didnt think and honestly really dont know much about it to begin with. I guess I was going with the idea that since I'm not having outbreaks I'm not able to spread the virus...but the more I've read apparently that isnt true. I’m pretty sure I contracted herpes from my wife about two years ago. Obviously I cant be sure but we split up for about a half a year and she admitted to being a little “promiscious” during our split. Within 3 months of coming back I got an outbreak and they became pretty regular for the first year. ITs become more manageable now and I think I probably only have about 2-3 outbreaks a year now and they barely last a day or two. Obvioulsy I havent forgetten about the virus but I really dont think of it much.

Well here’s my dilemma my wife and I split permanently about 6 months ago and I started dating very recently. The problem is I had unprotected sex after a few drinks with someone and then after I had already done that couldnt get myself to tell her. I foolishly just kept going with it and unfortunately have begun to really like her and really need to tell her. I did start using protection but we’d already slept together unprotected maybe 5 or 6 times. I’m about 99% sure I’ve already blown it but I just couldnt get myself to say anything. I know that sounds horrible andI’m feeling a crazy amount of stress over it now. SO any advise on how I could possibly save this one would be appreciated, but I’m thinking I’m probably looking at a minimum of a slap in the face and being dumped here.

I just didnt think and honestly really dont know much about it to begin with. I guess I was going with the idea that since I’m not having outbreaks I’m not able to spread the virus…but the more I’ve read apparently that isnt true.

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