Dating With Herpes? – You Are Not Alone!
This site provides up-to-date, trustworthy information about genital herpes and dating with herpes. If you have been recently diagnosed with genital herpes, you may be upset and confused and think your sex life is over. However, once you settle down and learn the facts, you will realize that having genital herpes is not the end of the world, and herpes is not the end of your sex life or your social life. Over 50 million Americans have genital herpes. You are not alone! If you do not have genital herpes, but are dating someone with genital herpes, you will find out how to reduce your risk of getting herpes.
You may wonder – How Did I Get Herpes? Herpes (HSV1 and/or HSV2) is extremely common. In the USA, approximately 60% to 80% of people carry the HSV1 virus, and 20%-25% of people over 12 carry the HSV2 virus. Percentages are higher in major metro areas. Both HSV1 and HSV2 can cause genital herpes. Most people with genital herpes have infrequent, mild, or no noticeable symptoms, and 90% of them are totally unaware that they even have it. Other people may display symptoms occasionally or regularly.
HSV1 is most often associated with cold-sores around the mouth, but can also be transmitted to the genitals via oral sex and is the cause of many new cases of genital herpes. HSV2 is most often associated with the genital region and very rarely occurs near the mouth. Sometimes people have herpes outbreaks on their backs, buttocks, anus or thighs, and not around the genitals. Herpes can be spread even when there are no noticeable sores or symptoms. Surprisingly, most doctors do NOT include a blood test for herpes even when they are testing their patients for other common STD’s. Therefore, 90% of people who carry the virus for herpes – don’t even know it! Unless you specifically request a herpes blood test, you may not know if you have herpes HSV1 or HSV2 or both. Ask your doctor for the type-specific herpes blood test!
Because genital herpes is the most common sexually transmitted disease, there are Herpes Support Groups and Herpes Social Groups in most metro areas in the US and Canada and also around the world! These Herpes Support Groups and Herpes Social Groups are usually FREE and run by members who volunteer their time to run support groups and organize social events. Your local or regional Herpes Support Group and Herpes Social Group are one of the best places for you to go to make friends with other people with Genital Herpes, learn how others successfully manage herpes and date with herpes, and maybe even meet someone you want to date.
There are many online dating services for people with herpes and other STDs. You’ll find a chart comparing these services at Herpes Dating Online. If you are dating people who do not have herpes, you should learn how to tell someone that you have herpes, and how to reduce your risk of transmitting herpes to your partner(s) or reduce your risk of getting herpes from someone. The more you know about genital herpes, the more confident you will be about the choices you make. For more information about herpes transmission, diagnosis and treatment, see our Herpes Links page.
Unfortunately, there are various people and companies out there who try to take advantage of people with herpes, with bogus herpes cures or bogus herpes treatments, herpes hoaxes, and deceptive advertising and Spam for STD dating services. For more info, see Herpes Scams.
If you have other questions about dating with herpes, please click on Herpes Questions, and see if your question can be answered there. You are welcome to submit your own questions, and if we think they are relevant to the larger group, we may post an answer to this site. Please note, because we are unpaid volunteers with our own busy lives, we cannot and will not be able to answer each question personally. But some of the questions people ask may be answered on our blog.
This site is a work in progress. We appreciate your feedback and suggestions and links. We especially appreciate it if you tell us about broken links or give us links to new articles or research studies or anything else that can help us improve this site and provide better and more recent information to people seeking the most up-to-date, reputable, useful information for people dating with genital herpes. Thank you for your help!
Good luck and happy herpes dating!
How would I know if I have herpes? She never told me anything about it until it was too late. Now I’m affraid I’m infected.
Since most people have few or no noticeable symptoms, the best way to find out if you have herpes is to get a type-specific herpes blood test. To find whether or not you may have gotten genital herpes from anyone, see our page on Herpes Diagnosis at http://www.datingwithherpes.org/herpesdiagnosis/
Remember, unless your doctor previously gave you a type-specific herpes blood test, which is highly unlikely, and if you test positive now, you may have gotten herpes from a previous partner, not this last one. The only way to know for sure if you have HSV2 is to always specifically request a herpes blood test whenever you go in for check-ups and your doctor is testing you for other STDs. Remember – you have to ASK specifically to be tested for herpes or else most doctors will not include that test. Good luck.