Dating With Herpes .Org

What you need to know about Dating With Herpes – Herpes Dating Sites – Herpes Support Groups – Herpes Social Groups – How to Tell Someone You Have Herpes – How to Reduce the Risk of Getting or Spreading Herpes – How to Get Tested for Herpes

Dating With Herpes

Dating With Herpes – Herpes Support – Herpes Dating – Herpes Facts is about:



  • Genital Herpes (HSV-1, HSV-2) is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases (STD, STI) worldwide.
  • Genital Herpes can be caused by both HSV-1 and HSV-2.
  • 60% to 80% of Adults in the US have HSV-1.  Most people contract HSV-1 when they are children by receiving a kiss from a parent, friend or relative.  HSV-1 is commonly known for causing occasional cold-sores around the mouth. However, HSV-1 is also a leading cause of genital herpes.  HSV-1 is responsible for at least HALF of all new cases of genital herpes in the United States.  The rise in the number of cases of genital HSV-1 is due to the increasing prevalence of oral sex, for which most people do not use protection.
  • According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 16% (one in six) persons ages 14-49 in the United States has a genital HSV-2 infection. This figure does NOT include anyone with a genital HSV-1 infection, and HSV-1 accounts for more than HALF of all new cases of genital herpes.  The figure above also does NOT include data for anyone age 50 or over.  Therefore, the actual percent of people with genital herpes is likely to be more than 30% of all adults in the US.
  • According to the same study from the CDC. women actually have a higher incidence than men of HSV-2, about 20% (or 1 in every 5 women), and most don’t know it.
  • 80-90% of people with herpes DO NOT KNOW that they even have it.  Most doctors do NOT include a blood test for herpes, even when they are testing their patients for other common STD’s.  “Testing for everything” usually does NOT include herpes.  You have to ask your doctor specifically to give you a herpes blood test.
  • For most people with herpes, symptoms are absent, or are very mild and infrequent, and are easily mistaken for something else – like a vaginal infection, jock itch or ingrown hair, etc.  Many people with herpes never notice any symptoms at all.  The herpes pictures you may find online only show the worst cases, which are extremely rare.  Most people with herpes appear to have NO visible symptoms, most of the time. The absence of symptoms does NOT mean the absence of herpes or another STD.
  • Herpes can be spread even when there are no noticeable symptoms.  In fact, most new cases of herpes occur when there are NO noticeable symptoms, but the virus is still present on the surface of the skin.  This is called “asymptomatic shedding“.  More often than not, the “gifter” does not even know that they have herpes or that it is possible to spread herpes when there are no noticeable symptoms.
  • There are many ways to reduce the risk of getting herpes or spreading herpes.  People who carry the virus for herpes are usually only contagious a small percent of the time.  Proper use of antiviral medications and condoms, keeping healthy and avoiding stress, are some of the ways to reduce the risk of spreading herpes.
  • Lots of people you know – are already living with genital herpes.  Maybe your postman, your teacher, your boss, your colleague, your landlord, your classmate, your grandparent, your room-mate, your work-out buddy, your nurse, your pastor, your neighbor, your coach, your plumber, your baby-sitter, your cousin, your parent, your partner/spouse, and maybe even you!   Just because you don’t have any symptoms does NOT mean that you don’t have herpes or another STD.  Your doctor has probably never given you a herpes blood test.  If you want to know your herpes status, ask your doctor for a type-specific herpes blood test.



If you have been recently diagnosed with genital herpes, you may be upset and confused and think your sex life is over.  However, once you settle down and learn the facts, you will realize  that having genital herpes is not the end of the world, and herpes is not the end of  your sex life or your social life.  There are millions of other people out there just like you.  You are not alone!

This site is a work in progress.  We appreciate your feedback and suggestions and links.  We especially appreciate it if you tell us about broken links or give us links to new articles or research studies or anything else that can help us improve this site and provide better and more recent information to people seeking the most up-to-date, reputable, useful information for people dating with genital herpes.  Thank you for your help!

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Good luck and happy herpes dating!

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  • DWH says:

    Rick – Are you already a member of Bay Area Friends (BAF) on Meetup? It’s the SF Bay Area’s social group for people with herpes (HSV-1 and/or HSV-2). There are currently over 1500 active members. BAF is the largest regional herpes social group in the USA. Here’s the link: Once you join, please send a message to the organizers and they will surely want to talk to you about your ideas. Good luck. DWH

    01/20/2016 at 2:29 pm
  • DWH says:

    80% of people who have herpes don’t know it because they have no noticeable symptoms. Most doctors do NOT test their patients for herpes when they are doing their regular STD screenings. The herpes test is simply NOT INCLUDED, unless you specifically ask for it. Therefore. millions of people have Herpes (HSV-1 and/or HSV-2) and simply don’t know it because they don’t have noticeable symptoms and never asked to be tested.

    However, Herpes CAN BE SPREAD even when there are no noticeable symptoms present. Some studies show that people who carry the herpes virus are invisibly shedding the HSV virus between 2-10% of the time – without symptoms!

    Please thoroughly read to learn how herpes is spread, and what to do to reduce your risk of spreading it unknowingly to your partners. Good luck. DWH

    01/20/2016 at 2:24 pm
  • michelle james says:

    I recently go diagnosed with the herpes virus it’s really baffling cause I have never had and out break never gotten sick no itch no discomfort and was told its not even active some sites are saying if it is inactive that its not infectious is that still true. Or should I get retested?

    01/06/2016 at 8:34 pm
  • Rick Davis says:


    I work in the tech industry in San Francisco and along with a couple other friends in the start up space are launching an app that helps people with HSV date. I’m curious how closely you work with the app companies to help shape the perfect experience. Our frustration has been with even with the HSV dating leaders their motivations (based on recent lawsuits and clunky user experience) seem to be profit motivated instead of motivated by helping people with HSV connect.

    We are also laser focused on eliminating the stigma and we have partnered with one of the top PHD researchers in the field to help educate people. If you’d be interested in hearing more, I’d love to have a call in the next couple weeks.

    We’re looking to find allies in the fight to educate the world on HSV and would love to find a way to work with you.

    (I am a real person, here is my linkedin: Public Profile

    01/03/2016 at 10:13 pm
  • admin says:

    Honesty is the best policy. How can you expect someone to really love you if you are deliberately lying to them? Not telling someone up front indicates a lack of caring for the other person – on your part. Lying is disrespectful, and certainly not the behavior of a loving person. Start your relationships right by always disclosing your herpes status before having intimate contact with someone. Also, how does your boyfriend know that he doesn’t have herpes? Did he get a blood test or ? Absence of symptoms does NOT mean absence of STD’s or herpes. Good luck in the future and please be honest.

    06/02/2014 at 10:04 am
  • admin says:

    A lot of medical professionals are not at all knowledgeable or up-to-date about herpes diagnosis or treatment. And some of these medical professionals tell patients that they were “exposed” to HSV-1 or HSV-2, as if that’s somehow different from having herpes. If you have antibodies for HSV-1 and/or HSV-2, then you have it. Period. This does NOT mean that you are always contagious and there are a lot of things that you can do to prevent spreading herpes to your partner(s). It does no good to keep on trying to contact anyone who obviously doesn’t want to communicate. Move on and look forward, not backward. You will meet some great people in the herpes community, who won’t judge you based on a silly virus. Good luck! DWH

    10/22/2012 at 11:58 am
  • LSD says:

    So I just found out that I have herpes. I’m freaking out and pissed and outraged. Mostly because he says it’s impossible for him to have passed it along to me, even though he’s THE ONLY PERSON I’ve slept with since my last PAPS and physical that came up clean. I asked them to test me for EVERYTHING because my insurance was going to run out and they found nothing. Then a month after my PAPS I had cuts that just seemed to not go away in places they shouldn’t be and I’m going into the clinic only to find out that I’ve got an STD. He says he doesn’t have it, how is that possible?

    10/18/2012 at 10:01 am
  • Elle says:

    I was told that I was “exposed” to HSV1 and HSV2 in July 2011. I was floored! My complaint was a yeast infection EVERY SINGLE MONTH before my cycle;or what I thought was a yeast infection. I don’t have a discharge, just burning, itching, and inflammation. There’s no blisters or sores of any kind. I’m even tempted to get retested. My biggest issue is rejection. That is never good. I try to be honest about my HSV. Aside from not answering their phones and not responding to my texts or emails, some have gone to the extreme of “blocking” me from communicating with them on other sites. This is one of the things that I am dealing with in therapy. At 44 years of age, I’m ready for a long-term/permanent relationship. I am ready to settle down and grow with my mate. I’m hoping that HWERKS works for me.

    10/12/2012 at 4:07 am

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